I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
