somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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