Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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