why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
