i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
