dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
