how can u be prego again
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
