the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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