he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's shark week go big or go home
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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