He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
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Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
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Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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