I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
