"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
