I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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