I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
