Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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