Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
