He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high people should be assigned attendants
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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