wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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