girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
