So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
They took my balls.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
