so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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