I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
