I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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