He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
