Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
