She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I enjoy the company of your penis
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
