I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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