dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
