ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
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The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
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Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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