You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
