All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My feet surprised me
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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