if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
