This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
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i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
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struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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