My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
