my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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