Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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