So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
