so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
