so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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