my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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