i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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