I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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