Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
