i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize