epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My feet surprised me
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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