a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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