cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
