I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize