I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
