yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
