i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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