Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
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she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize