At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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