so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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