help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
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I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize