WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
