did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize