this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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