gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
