i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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