Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I use my feet as sexual weapons
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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