it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
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When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
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Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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