I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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