I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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