Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
