my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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