Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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