just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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